The Truth Beneath The Mask
by Saber Wing
Summary: How could he hope to get over the pain of his past when every time he looked in the mirror, it stared back at him? Implied Kakashi x Rin


_**Authors Note: **_Hey everyone! Welcome to my first Naruto fanfic =). In case you hadn't guessed from the title, (which would be nearly impossible, but whatever XD) this fic is about my favorite character of all time, Kakashi Hatake. It's set sometime during Shippuden, just so you know, and focuses on his reasons behind the mask, as well as the anguish he hides so well. There are major spoilers from here on, including the rest of this authors note, so beware, especially if you haven't been reading the latest manga chapters.

Since Kakashi is so undeniably awesome, I had to write something dedicated to him =). I swear, if he really does die….Argh…..I will lead an angry mob of fangirls myself! After I'm done sobbing uncontrollably.

But anyway, moving on….I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters, though I wish I did = (. I'd never kill Kakashi off! *cough* Um, anyway, they belong to Masashi Kishimoto, the actual creator. On with the story!

**The Truth Beneath The Mask**

**By: Angel Wings-008**

An endless torrent of rain crashed into the roof with astounding force, waking a certain silver-haired shinobi from his restless slumber. Kakashi Hatake turned his head toward the window and sighed, eyes watching the falling droplets without surprise.

He supposed it was appropriate for a day like this one….Almost as if the heavens were crying out in pain for the deaths of his long lost friends. After all, it wasn't every day that the life of a legend was snuffed out, especially one as powerful as his sensei had been. Kakashi would never forget the people talking in the streets afterward, cheering in jubilant victory. "We've won!" they would scream at the top of their lungs. "That Uzumaki boy won't be getting to us either, that's for sure!"

It sickened him, how they could believe they saw so much when they knew so little. They thought they'd won, but had they really? The greatest man ever to walk in the leaf village was dead, a newborn little boy shunned before he could even know why. Was that a victory? Kakashi didn't think so.

Geez, he was such a downer today, but he supposed it couldn't be helped. The anniversary of Minato's death always got him down, always got him thinking of things better left in the past.

Swinging his legs to the floor, Kakashi stood up and headed towards the bathroom, hoping that maybe a shower would help to ease the pain that threatened to drag him under. It never helped…nothing did when he let things get to him like this, but what else could he do? He didn't even feel like reading one of his favorite books.

Stepping into the shower stall, he turned the water on to a scalding hot stream, letting it drum into his finely toned and muscled body. He hadn't even bothered to grab himself any clean clothes, but he didn't care. There were heavier things on his mind to worry about. His head fell back, and he let the stream wash over him, closing his eyes and imagining himself in a different time. A time of sorrow and pain, of guilt, and most of all, of bittersweet romance.

Once again he was a thirteen year old boy, dancing in the rain with the beautiful dark-haired medical-nin. They had been on their way back from a training session; it had started to pour just as they reached the house where she lived, but instead of going inside she'd grabbed his hand and rushed back out, laughing as she threw back her head and twirled in the downpour. It hadn't taken long before they were dripping wet from head to toe, soaked to the skin with the everlasting rain. Rin had loved the rain….

Kakashi slowly opened his eyes, but it did little good. His vision was too blurred to see anything. He took a shaky breath and hung his head, letting the tears drain away among the falling water. Hell….this wasn't like him. _C'mon Kakashi, you always pull yourself out before this can happen. Pull yourself together. Aren't you always telling Naruto and Sakura to move on, to stop blaming themselves for how Sasuke left? _Maybe that was only because he didn't want this for them, didn't want them to fester in guilt and loneliness.

With a heavy heart, he turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and tousling his hair with it in an effort to dry it more quickly. He stopped and looked up into the mirror, mismatched pair of eyes staring back at him, set on a face that was so much like his father's he could hardly call it his. Kakashi focused on the left Sharingan eye, speaking as if to a good friend. Maybe he was. _ Hey, Obito. How are we doing today? Getting tired of being my eyes yet?_

Perhaps it was silly to converse with his eye like this, but it somehow made him feel closer to Obito. His friend had given his life for him, had given him this Sharingan as a gift to make him stronger, and that alone had saved his sorry ass more times then he could count. Still, every time he looked upon it, he couldn't help but be reminded of the person who should be here instead of him.

Moving on to scan the rest of his face, Kakashi's thoughts shifted to his father, the poor disgraced man. Once upon a time he'd hated him, loathed him with intensity almost akin to Sasuke's hatred for Itachi, but that was passed now. Now he mostly pitied him, but he could feel pride for him as well, because he realized now that he would have done anything and everything to protect Obito, Rin, and Minato sensei, just like his father had done for his own comrades.

_Well what do you know; I do have clothes in here, _thought Kakashi, as his eyes passed over a pile of freshly washed garments stacked on the counter. Starting with a pair of black pants, Kakashi slipped on his normal attire. It was Naruto's birthday as well as the anniversary of the Fourth's death, so he would have to pull himself out of his funk long enough to wish him a happy birthday. Walking out into his bedroom, Kakashi picked up a mask from the top of his dresser, fingering the material with kunai-callused hands.

Many people were curious about the mask and what was underneath it, so much so it was actually quite amusing. He'd seen all manner of attempts to take it off, though he supposed he couldn't blame them. The only people who had seen him without the mask in many years were…well, come to think of it, he really didn't know. Tsunade had probably seen his face during one of the numerous healings he'd had to go through, some more random medical-nin perhaps, and maybe Jiraiya too, but in any case, it was hardly anyone at all. He hadn't intentionally shown his face to anyone since Rin.

Why did he wear it? People asked all the time, but he would just smile, and not give an answer. Eventually, most gave up, which he was always grateful for. He wasn't lying to them per se, only withholding information. At any rate, how could they ever understand it, even if he tried to explain? At first it had been from the shame of his father's disgrace, but that wasn't so much the reason anymore.

His was the face of a broken man, a man shattered and forced back together so many times it was a wonder he was so put together. The past made him hurt, made him weaker… made him stronger. It was filled with sorrow, laughter, love and hate. Mistakes he'd made, and hurdles he'd overcome. Lives that had been lost and those he'd held dear. That was exactly what his face was to him…a reminder of the many faces and emotions of his past. Kakashi had vowed long ago, that until he could accept them all, and himself, as a flawed human being, he would wear this mask; keeping its true purpose to himself, while allowing it to be an intriguing secret for others to unravel if they dared to try. If he could accept himself and his life's events, so could everyone else, and no sooner. The good news was, he truly felt he was getting closer to that day; the day he could explain the past and the truth beneath the mask.

The room was suddenly lit up with brilliant rays of light and Kakashi looked toward the window, shocked to see sunlight filtering through it in place of the sorrowful streaks of rain. Surprised for once, he smiled. _It stopped raining._

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So what did you guys think? I really hope I got his character right…I did the best I could to get inside his head. Thanks for reading, and reviews are always appreciated!


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